Family, Friends and Sunshine

This week included a few exciting and happy events.  The first was the arrival of our beautiful niece, Hayden Elizabeth on Tuesday April 5th, 2011.  She was 9 lbs 6 oz 22 inches long and we are smitten with her. 

My brother and sister-in-law are enjoying every moment with their new addition.  I am so happy that my brother, Dustin was lucky enough to get leave so he could come home and see his little girl come into this world. Our nephew, Hunter, is embracing the role of big brother and was very excited to meet his little sister. 

I know that Hunter will be an amazing big brother.  If he is anything like his daddy he will sometimes be annoyingly protective but in the end, Hayden will know he only does it out of love.  We are so excited for my brother and sister-in-law.  We can't wait to meet Hayden and give her lots of kisses and love.

Matt and I also had the honor of helping our friends, Abby and Derrick, celebrate the day that they became Husband and Wife.  It was an intimate affair and we are so happy that we were included in their special day.  We wish them Happiness and a long life together.

This week I also gave myself two days off of work.  They were much needed.  I spent them sleeping in, catching up on chores and appointments, being outside and just lazing around.  Luke and I enjoyed some much needed outdoor excercise.  Luke gained 5 lbs this winter and my workout routine was pretty lax, so Luke and I are on a shape-up mission.  I really couldn't think of a better way to get back into shape after

a lazy winter than roaming around outside with my puppy.  Luke was especially excited about the outdoor time.  He ran around, grabbed sticks and swam in the ponds.  He even got play time with his friend, Stella Blue.   

Luke and I had a lot of fun this week.  There really isn't anything better than seeing Luke running around like a giddy little kid.  He was so happy to be outside, enjoying the smells and the fresh air.  He probably could have swam in the pond all day if I would have let him.  This week we also had to take all of the animals to their annual appointments.  I do not recommend taking your three cats and your dog to the vet together.  It was a bit of chaos.  Kit was really cranky and tried to take it out on the poor assistant.  Luke got all worked up when they were examing Spooky because he was worried that they were going to hurt him and Spooky threw a fit until we let him out of the cat carrier so he could perch on one of the chairs in the exam room.  We survived it though!  Everyone is healthy, though could probably stand to lose a few pounds.  When we got home everyone picked a spot and slept for the rest of the day. 

Matt and I also were able to join some of the teachers from TVCS on Friday afternoon for cocktails.  I was able to meet some of the people that Matt works with.  It was a nice time, I only wish we would have been able to stay longer.

That was our week.  Tomorrow is Monday and we start all over again.  I am not looking forward to getting back to work but I got the much needed down time that I was missing.  I hope that everyone had a good weekend and have a good week!

 

 

The Animals That Bless Our Lives

I thought I should introduce the furry members of our family.  They keep our lives interesting and never cease to amaze me with their personalities and antics.

I will start with Kit Kat.  Kit was my first baby.  I got her shortly after I moved into my first place and I was so lonely.  I had always grown up with animals and suddenly I had none.  So despite the "No Pets" rule that my apartment complex had, I got Kit. 

Kit loves posing for the camera

From the moment I got Kit it was like she was shot from a rocket.  When she wanted to play you better play and you better be covered head to toe otherwise you would come out of the play session with all kinds of wounds.  Kit doesn't care who you are, she always welcomes you and insists on getting some pets from you.  This is especially amusing when she climbs into my father-in-law's lap, since he's not really one of those, cuddle with your animals kind of guys. LOL  Kit and Matt have a love/hate relationship.  Kit will wind herself through Matt's legs as he's trying to walk so she can trip him and Matt will curse her as she meows and walks away.  Sometimes though, I will see them cuddling and showing each other some love.  Kit is a feisty one but she makes me smile.  She is always the first one to say good morning to me when I wake up, whether I'm ready to wake up or not. LOL

Reeses is Kit's sister.  I didn't get Reeses until a week or two after I had gotten Kit.  I could not keep up with Kit's play sessions and my arms and legs were starting to pay the price.  So I went back to where I had gotten Kit and I found Reeses (or Reesey as I call her).  She was so little and calm and I fell in love with her immediately. 

Reeses loves lying in the window and letting the sun hit her while she naps.

When I first brought Reesey home I was worried that it was a mistake because Kit was all over her.  Poor Reeses didn't know how to handle this maniac of a cat attacking her every time she tried to move.  My worry was unwarranted though because Reeses quickly showed Kit that she could hand out a beating just as well, if not better, than Kit could.  They became quick friends and are inseparable now.

They love cuddling on the bed on a lazy afternoon

Reeses made quick work of letting me know that she is a princess and she expects to be treated as such.  She is not much for pets, unless she decides she wants them and then you had better oblige.  If you don't you won't get a moments rest until you do.  She does not generally welcome guests but comes out in her own time and then decides if you are worthy enough to pet her.  She will only eat a certain kind of wet cat food and a certain type of treats.  Anything else she turns her nose up at and scowls at you.  LOL  During those moments when she's feeling particularly loving is when she is the sweetest.  She will curl up on you and purr as long as you let her stay.

Spooky was my Grandma and Grandpa's cat.  When my Grandma passed away my parent's took Spooky in.  Unfortunately it was not an ideal environment for Spooky.  Spooky was used to being the only cat and wandering in and out of the house as he pleased.  My parent's cats did not welcome him.  When Matt and I went home for Christmas 2009 I could not bare to see Spooky so secluded and trapped so after some tears I convinced Matt to let us take Spooky home with us. 

This is one of Spooky's favorite ways to lay.

I must admit that Kit and Reeses were not exactly thrilled to have a new addition to the family.  They stalked him at first and tried to bully him.  Because of this we kept Spooky in his own room until the girls could adjust.  Spooky still has his own room, where he stays at night and when we are gone, but for the most part the girls leave him alone.  On the days when they are feeling particularly ornery they might chase him but that is generally when Luke intervenes.  I'm not sure if it is because Luke likes Spooky or if he just likes having an excuse to chase Kit and Reeses but he has become Spooky's bodyguard.  Spooky's friend was Jake, my grandma and grandpa's golden lab.  Spooky is always trying to cuddle with Luke.  Luke isn't too sure about this sometimes but he mostly goes with it.


We spoil Spooky by turning on my heated blanket and letting him sleep on it.




If Matt is around, Spooky is right on top of him.



He may be old but every once in a while his playful kitten side comes out.

Spooky has adopted Matt as his human.  This started when Matt was sitting in front of Spooky shortly after we brought him home.  Spooky began nibbling on Matt's ear so Matt said, "Spooky, what are you doing?"  Spooky responded by reaching around and slapping him in the mouth.  I could not stop laughing.  Ever since then Matt has been Spooky's human.  He is so loving and gentle, I could laze around with him dozing on me all day. 



Luke and Shad are best buds and LOVE having play time.



Ignore the hideous couch and carpet and focus on the adorable sleeping puppy.



Then there is Luke.  Luke is my baby.  He is our 5 year old Black Labrador.  We got Luke about a year after we moved to New York.  I had always had dogs and was sick of not having one around.  Matt and I began looking around and, as luck would have it, my boss's sister's dog had just had puppies.  She was giving them away because her black lab had bred with a chocolate lab.  I was so excited.  My grandparents had always had Labradors so I knew what great dogs they were.  I even convinced Matt's parents to get one of their own!  A big feat since they had only had one adult dog and a cat when Matt was younger.  When we went to pick our puppies out I fell in love.  The little bundles of fur, yipping and jumping around, with that adorable puppy smell and those fat puppy bellies.  Yes, I'm a sucker for puppies.  From that moment on Luke became one of the most spoiled dogs alive. 



Even as a puppy he was so good at posing for the camera.

 Luke has brought so much joy to our lives.  He is Matt's wrestle buddy and my walking buddy and protector.  He does not leave my side if I am home alone.  Even if that means he must lay on the couch next to me all day, bored.  Luke absolutely LOVES going for hikes and lets not even mention swimming.  He would swim all day if we let him.  Thankfully for him we have two ponds fairly close to us that he can swim laps in.  When we go for walks we usually meet his friend Stella Blue, a terrier.  She chases after Luke and jumps at his face.  He acts like she annoys him but he looks for her every time we go past her house. 


Even when Matt thinks it is funny to put his t-shirt on him Luke has a smile for us.




Luke has a rough life.



Besides Shad, one of Luke's first play buddies was our friends dog Roxy.  Roxy is owned by our friend's John and Colleen.  Roxy is a force all her own.  She has those big dopey ears and a huge smile all of the time.  And her tongue can take over your whole face.  Luke was already about a year old when Roxy was adopted and Luke and her became good friends.  Though at times Luke didn't understand why she kept taking his toys.  Roxy stayed with us a couple of times and her and Luke had quite a few play dates.  When Roxy came to stay or visit she always made herself at home, and was just as spoiled as Luke was.



Even our friends dogs get the bed. LOL



Luke and Roxy played a lot of tug of war with Luke's toys. HAHA







And those are our furry family members.  Life would not be complete without them.  Now, if you will excuse me, Luke is eyeballing me and needs a much deserved walk.  Have a good week!

Baking A Cookie Is Harder Than It Seemed

Hello Again!  As promised I am dedicating a blog post to Matt and I's struggle with growing our family.  The following post will outline what Matt and I have gone through and how emotionally taxing it has been on me at times.  But I do have to state that through everything, no matter how hopeless I may have felt I always reference our future children with a "When I get pregnant" or "When I am pregnant" statement.  That is because I simply refuse to believe that Matt and I cannot or will not conceive our children.  Chalk it up to my stubbornness but I do believe that I will conceive.  That said, I wanted to share this with all of you so you have some idea of what Infertility can do to a person physically and emotionally.  I also wanted to share this with any one who may have gone through, or who currently is going through the same thing.  Infertility is a disease but it does not mean that we have to give up hope.  I hope you enjoy my post or if nothing else, at least know where we're at in our Cookie Making process.

Two years and 8 months ago, but who's counting, Matt and I decided to expand our family of two. The first year was mostly full of excitement and anticipation. I couldn't wait to be a mommy. By the end of that first year, however, the excitement and anticipation was replaced by worry and fear. I never thought that I would have a problem getting pregnant. So Matt and I went through the battery of fertility tests. For the woman, by the way, these are not fun. When I went to my doctor at the end of all of the tests I was excited to see what the problem was so we could fix it and move on to getting pregnant. That was not to be. My official diagnosis after those tests was "Unexplained Infertility". Now you would think that being told that everything came back normal and that by all accounts you were perfectly healthy and capable of becoming pregnant would be good news. That is not so, I was devastated, because to me not having an explanation meant that I wasn't just broken but that there was no explanation for why I was broken. The doctor recommended clomid. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is an ovulation drug. Now I had charted my cycle religiously after about six months of trying. I KNEW there was not an ovulation problem. I decided to forgo the clomid. I did this because I knew it wouldn't work and because I believed, from what I had been told, that I probably just needed to relax. I was worrying for nothing. So Matt and I kept trying. We kept trying for another year. Towards the end of the first year and all the way through the second I began to experience excruciating pain with my period. (Sorry for any TMI) Other things began changing with my body as well and so I told my doctor. Her response was to tell me that it was just my body changing. I knew this wasn't so. I switched doctors and he also told me not to worry about the pain, it was normal for a woman's body to change. I switched doctors 3 times before I finally got one to listen enough.  She first wanted me to take the clomid.  So I reluctantly did so for 5 months.  During my 3rd cycle I called the nurse after my blood work and she told me what my progesterone levels were.  I don't remember the number exactly but they were hi.  So she tells me, "That is very good.  We wouldn't be surprised if you were pregnant now."  For a woman who is trying to conceive, and especially for a woman who has been struggling with infertility, these are the most amazing words you could ever hear.  The next day I got my period.  I was devastated and beyond angry at that nurse for getting my hopes up.  So I trudged on for another two months, unsuccessful at getting pregnant.  It was after this that my current doctor finally recommended something other than drugs.  She wanted to do a Laparoscopy. This is a minimally invasive surgery that takes a small camera and looks inside a woman, to make sure there isn't anything going on that they otherwise wouldn't be able to see. After that surgery, I learned that I had endometriosis.

One quick thing you should know about endometriosis is that doctors believe that birth control, controls the symptoms. So I only began experiencing symptoms after I stopped taking it. Simply put, endometriosis is a condition where the lining inside a woman's uterus, and that she sheds each month, grows outside of her uterus. When the woman then begins to shed the lining it sheds inside her body and the hot blood hitting her internally causes a lot of pain. The only way I can describe it is to say that when this would happen to me, it hurt so much I could feel the heat from inside radiating through my abdomen. After each episode would finally pass I would ache for the entire day and barely have the energy to brush my teeth.  Endometriosis can be quite debilitating.  It can also be a cause of infertility. 

So, I finally had a reason for my inability to get a bun in the oven.  After my follow-up from the surgery my doctor recommended that I see an infertility specialist.  Two things made this recommendation lucky.  One, we live in a rather remote area of New York, so the possibility of there being an Infertility Specialist in the area was slim.  Hudson Valley, where we happen to live, has ONE Infertility clinic and it is only a little over an hour from where we live.  In comparison to how far some women have to travel to get treatment, this is very close.  The second lucky factor is that only 15 states mandate their insurance companies to provide Infertility Treatment coverage.  New York just happens to be one of those 15.  If you are interested in why there are only 15 I will reference a blog I currently follow.  She has done some amazing research and is very passionate about pushing for Infertility to be recognized as a real disease and not just something that happens.  http://hannahweptsarahlaughed.blogspot.com  She is also the creator of the "What If" video I posted to my Facebook page last week. 

Ok, back on track.  I made our initial appointment with the infertility doctor and anxiously waited the month until my appointment.  When it finally came the doctor reviewed Matt and I's medical history and the results from the previous years tests.  Because the tests were so old, in medical terms, he wanted to do fresh blood work from both of us.  He knew that the Endometriosis was the main cause of my infertility but wanted to make sure that Matt and I's levels were still within, make a baby, range.  So we had the blood work and waiting another month.  When we went back he told us what the first doctor had told us, everything looked great.  He believed that I may have a very minor minor ovulation problem and that I would just need some assistance to get that in line.  He recommended IUI treatment.  IUI is when the woman takes hormones for 10 days and on the 10th day they induce ovulation and wash the partners sperm and insert it directly into the uterus.  This enables them to control every aspect of the process.  Our doctor told us that he didn't have any major concerns as to why the IUI would not be effective.  I was beyond excited.  I finally had my hope back. 

The doctor told me to call the pharmacy a week before my next cycle to order the hormones and we would start our first treatment!  I received my hormones and made my appointment with the doctor for my baseline readings.  The doctor did an ultrasound to check everything before I started and that was when my hope fizzled out again.  He found a cyst on my left ovary.  He was concerned about the size.  He was going on vacation for 2 weeks so I was going to have to go on birth control anyway until he returned.  He said to take the birth control and we'd check when he got back to see if it had shrunk.  I took the birth control and waited the two weeks, but I knew it would still be there.  Intuition and because cysts can cause women pain.  At the end of the two weeks the cyst was still there.  My doctor did not feel comfortable proceeding because the hormones could over stimulate the cyst and cause problems.  He wanted me to go back to my gyno to discuss possibly having another laparoscopy and removing the cyst.  I've cried a lot during these past few years and I've wondered why God was punishing me, but that ride back to work I was angry at God.  I was so angry that he had gotten my hopes back up and then dashed them again.  But once again I pulled myself together, I made my appointment with my gyno and just kept going. 

First I want to say that asking an infertility patient to wait, even for just a month, is cruel.  The doctors don't do it to be cruel, and when I'm thinking rationally I know they don't.  When my gyno asked me to take the birth control for another month and a half I thought I was going to collapse.  The emotional roller coaster that you go through when you are going through infertility is unbelievable.  At times, I didn't know how I would stay sane.  Each month the sadness that followed realizing that I wasn't pregnant was all encompassing.  I have lived and breathed my infertility.  No matter how much I try it is always there.  Most of the time I'm fine.  I function normally, I'm happy and I'm going on with my life.  Then something as simple as walking past a maternity clothing store sends me into an emotional mess.  Never mind what seeing a pregnant woman can do.  The jealousy, sadness, anger and frustration is more than I can handle sometimes.  I manage by meditating but mainly because of the amazing support Matt gives me.  I feel bad when I come home and just sob into his chest and I know he wants to fix it and doesn't know how.  So he does what he knows best, he says something completely ridiculous that just snaps me out of it.  Often it leaves me looking up at him giggling and thinking, "what?!"  But it has the desired effect and he brings me back out of my hole.  Without him, and my family and friends I couldn't do this.  Having a support system is so important if you're going to survive the infertility journey. 

I am finally going back for my follow-up ultrasound next Friday.  One of two things will happen.  One, the cyst is still there and I have another Laparoscopy.  Two, and the one I want the most, it is gone and we can proceed with the IUI treatment.  The waiting is the worst but I continue on.  I keep believing that I will conceive and that all of this is just God's way of showing me just how strong I am.  I will conceive and when I'm in that hospital room holding my baby for the first time, all of the struggling will be worth it.  That is what I keep believing because the other option just isn't acceptable to me.

Welcome to Cookie Crumbs!

Hello!  Welcome to Cookie Crumbs. :-)  I thought I would start a blog as a way to help me keep more connected to my family and friends and what is going on in our lives here in New York.  As most of you know I am HORRIBLE at keeping in touch.  I call my parent's each week and I check in with my brother's and sister in laws on a somewhat regular basis but I could be better.  SO, this is my attempt at doing so.  I will start by giving everyone a quick overview of what has been happening in the past 5 years, since Matt and I moved here. 

When Matt and I moved back to his hometown 5 years ago we were lucky enough to move into a small place next door to Matt's parents.  Over the past 5 years we have done minor home improvements; new lights, some fresh paint, and new carpet.  I don't even want to talk about the carpet. Ha Ha  All and all we have made this place our cozy little home.  I don't mean to rain on Matt's mountain parade, but I have yet to truly embrace the all encompassing feeling the mountains provide.  I'm from Iowa after all!  We're used to being able to see the road ahead of us as far as we can see and having open open sky.  Matt and I always joke because I love the openness of Iowa and rebel against the surrounding mountains.  Where Matt loves the mountains and can't stand the open skies.  Guess we'll never agree on that fact.  Ha Ha  One big thing I noticed when we moved here were the difference in what Iowans call things and what New Yorkers call things.  To this day I refuse to call pop, soda.  My friends laugh at me and strangers look at me funny when I say pop but I'm standing my ground. Ha Ha  I've also noticed that New Yorkers are not patient drivers!  Sadly, I must admit that I have become one of these drivers.  I couldn't resist everything. :-)

About 5 months after Matt and I moved here he proposed and on August 11, 2007 he made me the happiest woman in the world.  We will be married 4 years this August and I have loved every minute.  Ok, ok, not EVERY minute but I've only disliked the the ones that included learning that Matt likes putting his dirtly clothes and sometimes his shoes on the kitchen table.  Ha Ha  I have broken him of that habit by the way. ;-)

Shortly after Matt and I moved here he began substitute teaching and I started working at a credit union.  About 2 years after we moved here Matt began classes to get his Masters in Education.  After many frustrating group projects, 3 months of student teaching, and multiple certification exams Matt completed his Masters program.  He became a New York State Certified Teacher in September of last year.  I was and am very proud of him.  Since school had already began and Matt was still recovering from 2 broken feet (more on that a little later) he was unable to apply for any permanent teaching positions.  So he continues to substitute teach while he keeps an eye out for permanet positions.  Matt is an amazing teacher and the kids, no matter what age, respond so well to him.  I always joke that I can't take him anywhere without him running into one of his students.  My car went into the ditch last winter and the nice family near where my accident was allowed me to hide out in their home until the tow truck came.  When Matt arrived to assess the damage and check on me the woman's kids (all 3 of different ages) were so excited to see Mr. Cook. Ha Ha  Just last weekend Matt and I were in Border's and a high school girl that Matt had taught yelled, from across the store, "Mr Cook!  What's Up!"  Then proceeded to tell her boyfriend that "Mr. Cook is mad cool." He has a way with kids.  It makes me smile everytime one of his students runs up to him.  A big part of being a teacher is being able to connect with your students and Matt is able to do that with ease. 

I have been a Branch Manager at the credit union I started at for 3 years now.  It has given me a lot of experience and I have met some great people.  I have also learned that I'm not so great with the motto, "The customer is always right". Ha Ha  In my defense I understand that most people don't understand the many rules and regulations that go along with the financial world so I am perfectly calm when I must explain certain things to my members that they simply may not know.  It's the rude ones I have a problem with, especially when they're unjustly rude to my employees.  I become a mama bear and quickly squish any attitude they may have.  I have also learned some patience from my employees, as their teacher, and from the many members I interact with.  All and all it is a rewarding job.

Last summer was probably one of the most interesting since we moved here.  Most of it was quite pleasant.  We went rafting with friends, had barbeques, etc.  About the middle of July, however it changed.  I was at work and Matt's friend, who Matt had been logging with all summer texts me to tell me that he is taking Matt to urgent care because Matt thought he had hurt his feet.  Now I was slightly concerned because Matt doesn't go to the doctor.  He's one of those walk it off kind of guys.  But I didn't really panic or even leave work because Matt's friend thought he probably just sprained his one ankle.  So his friend and I continued to text back and forth to keep me posted on when he was going to get in to see the doctor.  Then his friend texts me and tells me, "Matt broke both of his feet."  Yes, true story, he broke both of his feet, and sprained his ankle.  Even then I wasn't worried, I knew he was ok in the sense that his life wasn't in danger in any way.  So Matt's poor friend, who felt responsible because Matt had been working with him, kept apologizing over and over.  I explained to him that accidents happen and that we'd get through it. 

Ha Ha This was Matt for the remainder of the Summer.  In Matt's true form, when I went to the hospital the next day to pick up a prescription from the doctor they all told me how Matt had them cracking up and that they had never seen anyone in such good spirits after just breaking both feet.  God bless him I don't know how he kept smiling through all of that, but he did.  With the exception of the understandable cabin fever he eventually developed he kept those good spirits up his entire recovery.  Matt went through 6 weeks of physical therapy after he got the casts off and still has to work on strengthening and stretching his feet but all and all he good as new.  He will probably be avoiding any such incident again though. Ha Ha 
As most of you know, I have two younger brothers.  They are my life and I am so proud of them.  One of the biggest reasons for my pride is because they both serve their country.  Last summer Dustin and Aaron embarked on their second tours in the Middle East.  Anyone who has family, friends, etc who are serving know the struggle you go through when dealing with a deployment.  There is the pride and there is also the neverending worry.  One of the biggest differences for their second deployments is that they both left wives, and in Dustin's case, a son and yet to be born little girl behind.  They have made great sacrifices and part of me would much prefer that they were no longer in the military.  However, I am also so glad that they are serving.  Dustin is lucky enough to be home to see the birth of his little girl, who will hopefully be arriving any day now.  By the end of the summer, my brother's will be safely back home with their families and I cannot wait.  You two make a big sister proud.  Makes up for all the annoyances you caused me growing up. ;-) j/k

Winter is stubbornly holding on here in Upstate New York but Spring makes brief appearances every once in a while.  I cannot wait until it is finally here.  For the obvious reason that I need sunshine and warmth and green grass again.  But also because last Fall I made my first somewhat large scale attempt at planting a Spring garden and I can't wait to see what it produces.  Hopefully my flowers bloom and I can keep the deer from eating them before they do.  I will keep you posted though.  :-)

Through all of this I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and Infertility.  I am going to dedicate a blog post just to this simply because it is it's own story.  I will say this though, through all of the struggles and tears Matt has been right there always finding a way to make me smile.  Most of the time it was in a "I can't believe you just said that" giggle but he knows how to bring me back out of the abyss that has been my Infertility struggle and I could not have gotten this far without him.

So there you have it!  I hope you enjoy my future posts and I look forward to keeping everyone more up to date on what is happening in the life of Mr and Mrs Matt Cook!  Until later!