In my house I have a Bonsai Tree. I don't know much about Bonsai Trees and when I was gifted the tree about 5 years ago I was certain that it's plant death was near. You see, I don't have a strong green thumb so when I was given the plant I thought my friend was crazy for giving it to me. Somehow though, this tree has managed to survive the many hardships I have put it through; over watering, under watering, being frozen, my cat has a bad habit of trying to make a meal out of it's leaves and I have often neglected to re-pot it so that it can continue to grow & thrive. Yet here it sits, in the window, sprouting new leaves. This is one tenacious plant!
I've looked at my little tree many times over the years but when I looked at it today this thought hit me, "How is that thing still alive after all it's been through?" Then I looked at the too small pot I had it sitting in and realized that it could be so much bigger if I would just give it the room to grow. I suddenly realized, that much like my little tree, I had been through some hard times but somehow kept on growing. Also much like my tree, I had neglected to give myself the room I needed to properly grow and thrive.
Over the years I have had struggles and I have asked, "why me?" and chalked some of my circumstances up to bad luck. That was just how my life was going to be. It wasn't until a little over a year ago, when I finally couldn't take the feelings of being stuck anymore, that I finally felt like I was on the path I was meant to be. That life epiphany led me and my family to make the huge decision to move from our home and life of nine years and restart in my home state. For the first time in a long time I felt light and free and like I was where I was supposed to be. I had been re-potted into a larger pot and it felt amazing. I was full of hope and excitement for the future. Then, shortly before our planned move, tragedy hit my family. My husband, daughter and I rushed to be with my family so that we could all be together during the painful time.
At first the focus was just on being with my family and getting through this hardship. As the year has progressed, the pain is still there but we're getting through it. This tragedy made it incredibly apparent to me the importance of family, of being there for one another and never taking anything for granted. I don't think our decision to make this move was a coincidence. I had been wanting this move for years but suddenly, literally weeks before everything happened, we just did it. My husband and I said, "This is it." and we were preparing for the move. I don't know if I would have been able to get through this hardship properly if I would have had to return to our old life. So I know that we are where we are supposed to be and that this hardship was meant to teach me a lesson and make me stronger.
I have realized something, however that saddened me, I had once again neglected myself and stunted my growth. The familiar feelings of being stuck and of feeling like I was unlucky had returned. I was also beginning to doubt whether we made the right decision. How did I get here again? I knew the answer of course. I had neglected to move into a bigger pot and my roots were once again fighting for space and struggling to expand. With no place to go, it was no surprise that I was experiencing those familiar feelings again.
With this realization I have made a vow to myself to never again allow Me to halt my own growth. I do not want to spend years feeling stuck and unlucky ever again. I alone hold the power to my growth and happiness. The key to staying out of that hole and continuing to move forward in my path in life is to nurture myself, trust and give myself the space I need to grow. I know it won't always be easy and life won't always go my way, it never does, but I am strong enough to learn from my trials and mistakes and keep on growing.
That's some pretty deep stuff just from looking at a little old plant but tomorrow I am moving my tree into a bigger pot and I can't wait to see it grow and thrive. What is your small pot? I challenge you to take a look at the areas of your life that you feel like you are struggling to expand in and figure out what you need to do to get into a bigger pot.
